With every birthday comes a time to reflect on life…and death. It’s not a morbid subject but a gift that can be leveraged to help you live life to it’s fullest potential. What if today was your last day to make an impression upon the world? How would you spend it and what would you do with your day?
I thought deeply about this, this morning, and came up with a few things. The first thought I had was gratitude for the realization that I am 52 today, not 53. I just got a year back in my head!
I devised a list of things that I will be practicing more consciously on a daily basis:
Am I a Pollyanna? Absolutely not…I see the ugliness in the world. I Am choosing to LIVE like it’s my last day ♥
Death, separation, job change, financial struggles, remarriage, family reunion, surgery, kid going to college, moving upstairs, major house renovations, relationship challenges, paranormal experiences….This has been my 2018 so far.
On January 1, 2018, I sat down on my living room floor and had a prayer in my heart. I asked the Universe to provide me a word to focus on for the upcoming year. It was an immediate response…almost like my angels were yelling at the top of their lungs…FLOW. I thought to myself, wow, that’s going to be interesting. Then the words began to flow into my ear…go with the FLOW, ebb and FLOW, heart FLOW, financial FLOW…It was very clear that I would have to be flexible in my life.
Life hit me like a ton of bricks towards the end of January. My partner Bobby and I were going into our 12th year of marriage. I attended a 4 day seminar that made me take a good look at goals, intentions and purpose. I had to admit to myself that I was terribly unhappy on so many levels of my life. Bobby and I didn’t communicate and most of the time we tolerated each other. How did that happen? We were very much in love at one point and then we barely talked. When you attend a self help class of any sort, be prepared for the unexpected to show up…especially baggage that you store away and refuse to deal with. That’s the gift of self help. I call it, “Welcome to the SHIT SHOW”. Look at your shit, deal with your shit, admit your shit, release your shit, stop being a shit. It’s not pretty but it IS pretty raw.
I came to the conclusion that I could no longer tolerate my “tolerable” life. I had come too far to “settle”. So I gathered my courage and told Bobby that we were not working and I needed some space. I wanted a divorce. He was stunned to say the least. I moved upstairs. The next few months were nothing short of miraculous. A series of very paranormal experiences began to commence. It is still something I am trying to wrap my head. Divine intervention is an understatement. Maybe someday I will be able to talk about it freely but I will share that it woke Bobby and I up and made us realize that we are partners in this life and we have work to do.
I’ve always lived my life with an exit plan in place. My marriage was no exception. Although in survival situations in my life it worked brilliantly, having an exit plan did not allow me to completely commit myself to Bobby. That was the part of the shit show that I had to own.
We worked on our problems and left the outcome open to possibilities. Easter weekend came and new beginnings were right around the corner. Bobby proposed to me on bended knee in front of family and friends. I said yes. We went from planning a divorce to planning a wedding vow renewal. So many things happened throughout the process. Looking back, I’m glad that I didn’t see all the changes coming. The fur babies that we raised from the beginning of our marriage both passed away same day. Our youngest son left for college. We decided as a family that Mom would move in with us. Our youngest daughter moved back in. We took in our adopted nephew while he waited to go into the Air Force. I broke a toe and had double foot surgery. Our house foundation began to falter and is in the process of being fixed. We changed jobs unexpectedly and emptied our savings building our business. Our daughter-in-law began training as part of our team. Relationships with some family members took a turn for the worse…and then came full circle. Friends passed away. I went through menopause. I embraced my love for Unicorns. I quit giving a shit what people thought about my happy disposition…no more dimming my light.
Why am I sharing with you? It’s not to air dirty laundry…but hopefully you can relate and find some insight and even humor in my situation. We all have a “situation”. Looking back, I’ve had some priceless moments arrive in the midst of emotional turmoil. That’s something my Mom taught me…you can laugh or cry…it’s up to you. Well Momma, I’m laughing and learning.
2018 is far from over but I’ve already gotten my word for the upcoming year. It is FOCUS. This one makes me real nervous as I have self proclaimed SS “Squirrel Syndrome”. What’s with these F words??? I wonder what 2020 will bring? That’s a loaded question!
Healing and hurricanes are usually not combined in the same sentence. On any ordinary day they wouldn’t be said in the same breath but that is before Hurricane Harvey hit Texas. As a category 4, Harvey ripped through Rockport, Texas on August 25th annihilating the little town. The wind continued along the coast and the rains flooded the metropolis of Houston. While Houston was still reeling from the damage of the flooding, Beaumont and Orange, Texas were quickly flooding.
Before the hurricane Texans were divided by political parties, racial and civil unrest, and transgender rights. The news industry proudly announced the dissension every day. Then Hurricane Harvey hit. People lost their homes, jobs, everything of value. Poor and rich alike had to face the same disaster without water, food and electricity.
Fellow Texans heeded the call for help. Churches, Real Estate offices, non-profit groups, the National Guard, The Texas Navy, Cajun Navy and transportation crews stepped up to the plate and went into action. Some groups have been collecting supplies and delivering to affected areas. For those with boats and watercraft, they have went to flooded areas and performed rescue missions. The list of donations and volunteers is too extensive to include. Cleanup efforts are in full force. The delivery of supplies and rescue missions continue.
Southeastern Texas looks like a war zone. It will take months and years even for the scars to be removed from our little piece of the world. But the boundaries have fallen and we are finding our connection to one another. Kind deeds and acts of bravery are happening all over Texas without regard to who or what a person is on the receiving end. This is not a time of separation but of coming together to help one another bear the burden of the storms of life. God bless Texas. We are Texas Strong.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
– Margaret Mead
For years I have had a story inside of me. It surfaced a few years back and I began the process. Then one day, I put my journal away and went back to work. It felt like the journey wasn’t finished and the story had more chapters. It is a fictional story loosely based on true characters. The main character faces many challenges in her journey. She deals with her problems from a unique vantage. My hope is that people will be able to relate to the characters and recognize the dynamics in their own life.
An excerpt from the beginning:
She looked beyond the horizon hoping to find the answers in the colors. Such beauty she thought. How would she get past the wall this time? The sky seemed so limitless and expansive. The air, filled with ever changing possibility. Yet her feet were planted firmly in the ground. If she were a sapling, she would break in half from the wind What would it take for her to pull her feet up and change direction?
The clouds began moving and the sun peeked it’s head out to warm her shoulders. The feeling of warmth began to flow through her veins. It became so hot, she had no choice but to move. Her foot lifted, free from the heavy burdens that were on her shoulders. She took another step forward and then another. The horizon was still in sight. She looked up to the sky and realized the rainbow that was hidden from her. She smiled and had an urge to skip in the street. With child-like abandon she moved with a deeper purpose. She was put on earth to be fearless. The world was colorful again and she was ready for the next chapter in her life.
Here’s to the beginning!
“I can’t do that! I’m too short, curvy, and my nose is too long.” That was my inner voice bully in response to modeling. She can be so mean at times! Luckily I have learned to hush the rambling and move on in spite of her. Modeling is a hobby for me. I may not be a runway beauty but I CAN be a great example of courage for others who want to do something that they think is impossible.
Do you have dreams that you are afraid to follow? I dare you to begin. Do what scares you most. That is where the greatest accomplishments arise. Be that person that shakes and trembles and does it anyway. I’m rooting for you!
We rise by lifting others.
For all of the Mom’s out there – Happy Mothers Day ♥
A big thank you to the photographer that believes in my dreams – Joseph Hernandez. You are insanely gifted!
#JosephHernandezPhotography #Dowhatscaresyou #happymothersday
One day a week I indulge my belief that I have superpowers and wear a Superhero shirt. This could be misconstrued as ego but let me share my “why”.
Growing up I had it in my head that one day I would find my knight in shining armor. It’s a romantic thought but not very empowering. Why would I need someone to “rescue” me? I threw that childhood story out and created a new one. The new main character was no longer a hero but a heroine. She rode her own horse and didn’t need to be rescued from anything because she had the courage and strength to do things for herself.
A few years back I began to wear to superhero shirts to work on Fridays as part of a campaign. No longer with the company, I continue to embrace my inner superhero. Quirky? Maybe. But Fridays give me an opportunity to remember who I am and hopefully inspire others to embrace their own superpowers.
The days grow shorter, the leaves fall from the trees and winter approaches. Animals hibernate and people “settle in” for the cold season. Even trees seem to come to a complete halt. But trees possess a magic in the winter that allows them to survive. On a molecular level, tree membranes become pliable and the fluid within the living cells becomes like an antifreeze. This process changes the tree cell viscosity to where cells appear solid which increases the tree’s survival rate. Why would this matter to you? Trees appear dormant in the winter. But are they REALLY dormant? Absolutely not! They are busy changing on the inside to prepare for the harsh winter conditions that may come their way. Not all winters are difficult but they prepare nonetheless.
Will you survive your “winter”? What are you doing to prepare?