Loving someone who doesn’t love themself

How do you love someone who doesn’t love themself?  Obviously it takes patience, setting clear boundaries of what you will or will not accept and loving them regardless of who they are to you or others.  It’s a big task.  I don’t like some people who I love and I’m okay with that.  I learned this lesson pretty young in life with my father.  He was such a great teacher in this regard.  I never liked him but I always felt conflicted about loving him.  My mom finally put it in terms that my young tender heart could accept.  She said, “You can love someone without liking them”.  Boy did I feel relieved!  He might have been the first person in my life that I didn’t like but he certainly wouldn’t be last!

The biggest obstacle I have had in dealing with people who don’t like themselves is taking their issues personally.  Instead of coming from a place of love (acceptance of what is), I have come from a place of judging (fear based).  I have come to realize that when I judge them, I also judge myself.  Wow!  Let me get that monkey off my back!

It’s time to look at this situation differently.  What if we simply looked at this person objectively and looked for the opportunity of personal growth within this relationship?  What could we learn from this person?

    “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”  ~ Carl Jung

I don’t know about you but I see plenty of growth opportunities in my life 🙂

3 Comments on “Loving someone who doesn’t love themself

  1. Totally agree! I have been in this situation many times with regards to loving someone but not liking them. great post 🙂


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